last day in penang :p

Okay , im gg off tomorrow to Jakarta! Woohoo! i've been dreaming of this for 2 years lol

but now, i dont have the mood to even pack and go to jakarta ugh!

uhm, i am not going anywhere today cuz my mum is in langkawi with her friends and my dad didnt allow me to go out.

On monday, Sara asked me out but i couldnt go out. It's so hard to ask permission these days cuz my dad is like not in the mood to give me money :p lol so he doesnt really want me to go out

SORRY LISAAA! i cant go to ur school today, pft ;(

maybe next time ? :)

Anyway, i miss my friends; Aishah, Bernessa, Gael, Su, Lee Ann and .....uhmm :p

Hope to see them soon. well holidays are almost over i think :P only 3 weeks left. so little! i want more! ahaha

And i've been thinking about my marks, i dropped so much! seriously, i gotta take tuitions and shits next term, and my mum being sarcastic saying that i need to go out more next term =='

I'm gonna take accounting, english? should i? and maybe science? UGH! =='

Well it'll be just for a year and then im graduating! woohoo! :D

Now, i gotta bath and then planned what i'm gg to do tdaay. i think i'll be staying at home, watching movies? online? yeah all those boring stuff.Maybe im gonna clean up my room, its so messy! will put the pic ltr lol :) I wont update my blog till i come back on the 29th ;) dont miss me :P

xxx

A Day With Lisa :)

Well, today my parents asked me to go with them to Kedah but i had to meet lisa for the first time :D i mean hang out with her for the first time, cuz i met her in school last time when we didnt talk to each other yet :p

Asked bernessa, tika and soomin to come along but they couldnt :( so i went only with lisa

At first, Lisa msg me asking me where i was. and then i went to coffee bean she was alrd there, so we hugged each other LOL was too excited :p

Had so much things to talk with her. We bought the tickets for 'princess and the frog' and lisa paid for me, thanks thanks :)

the movie started at 3.45 and it was only 2.30 so we went to coffee bean and sat there. It was my turn to pay her ;) but she didnt want, she wanted to pay for me again ==' too nice la she. so we were like fighting giving our money to the guy and the guy took my money woohoo :p lol

It felt so fast suddenly it was alrd 3.30, we talked sooo much and i just love her cuz we had loads of thingss in common lol we even have the same wallet! :P

thought no one would use this purse :p

she said: 'ugh i hate cameras' lol :)

lisa loved this picture =='

Walked around until we didnt realize that we were late for the movie, so we ran to gsc and the movie was just starting when we reached. and we were sitting in a couple sit ! lol

The movie was quite funny and nice :) it ended at 5.30 and lisa had to go back, she asked me to sleep over her house and go to school with her tmrw but yeah it was too sudden so i couldnt make it and she asked me just to go her house so i accepted :)

waiting for her mum. she couldnt stop smilling lol ;)

Her mum fetched us at 6 and we took some pictures in the car, and well her mum dropped me at my house cuz idk whyy i couldnt go to her house, maybe was too sudden ? :P nvm and then promised lisa to go to her school tmrw, tuesday or wednesday :) hope i can :)

♥♥♥

♥♥♥

I'm home now, 4 days left. Ugh im so lazy to pack, gonna miss penang :(

now i dont feel like gg back to indonesia anymore lol

tmrw gonna meet sara or maybe my indonesian friends, tuesday maybe bernessa, and wednesday lisa or maybe hang out with my mum

ugh i have so much things to do, and i went out like almost everyday, my dad is so annoyed and angry alrd :( fufufu

Anyway, gotta sleep now, tired :P yea i know i get tired easily lol

xxx

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HEEEY ! im back! :p

so yeah i've been busy lately. went to langkawi with my parents, went out with some new friends :) and my indonesian friends. my mum was scolding me cuz i go out too often and im always home late. well, sorry mum :)

my dad is in KL now, he asked me to go with him but i didnt want too

ugh , life's good but

i wanna be born again and not be me . i hate being myself, is it because im bella? thats why i hate bella, so i hate myself too which is just like bella? lol

anyway, i know life isnt perfect, and nobody's perfect.

i wanted to be perfect last time. but now im not. i mean im just myself, but im so far away from perfect. OH GOD! i regret everything!! i wanna cry, but im too tired of crying over some stupid problems or whatever. crying is like my hobby, so in indonesian we call it 'cengeng'. thats what i am :) i guess i cared too much about what people thinks bout me. so i should careless and just take the positive sides of everything?

i feel like im a million miles away from myself more and more of these days

now i just dont know

who i really am, how its gonna be, is that something that i cant see

i wanna understand,

maybe i will never be who i was before, maybe i dont even know her anymore, maybe who i am today, aint so far from yesterday. can i find a way to be, every part of me.

so i'll try to sort things down, and find myself, get my feet back on the ground

it'll take time, but i know it'll be alright cuz nothing much has changed on the inside

its hard to figure out how its gonna be, cuz i dont really know now, i wanna understand ..

:)

well, night ppl, xxx