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HEEEY ! im back! :p

so yeah i've been busy lately. went to langkawi with my parents, went out with some new friends :) and my indonesian friends. my mum was scolding me cuz i go out too often and im always home late. well, sorry mum :)

my dad is in KL now, he asked me to go with him but i didnt want too

ugh , life's good but

i wanna be born again and not be me . i hate being myself, is it because im bella? thats why i hate bella, so i hate myself too which is just like bella? lol

anyway, i know life isnt perfect, and nobody's perfect.

i wanted to be perfect last time. but now im not. i mean im just myself, but im so far away from perfect. OH GOD! i regret everything!! i wanna cry, but im too tired of crying over some stupid problems or whatever. crying is like my hobby, so in indonesian we call it 'cengeng'. thats what i am :) i guess i cared too much about what people thinks bout me. so i should careless and just take the positive sides of everything?

i feel like im a million miles away from myself more and more of these days

now i just dont know

who i really am, how its gonna be, is that something that i cant see

i wanna understand,

maybe i will never be who i was before, maybe i dont even know her anymore, maybe who i am today, aint so far from yesterday. can i find a way to be, every part of me.

so i'll try to sort things down, and find myself, get my feet back on the ground

it'll take time, but i know it'll be alright cuz nothing much has changed on the inside

its hard to figure out how its gonna be, cuz i dont really know now, i wanna understand ..

:)

well, night ppl, xxx